Friday, June 4, 2010

spelling FML out

It's official: My life sucks.

First it was Vane. Now Gel couldn't come too. I forgot that my darling girls are still students and this is their last weekend. Well it's my last one too for all they know and care. I'm so pissed. Looks like I'll miss this year's film fest, like I did last year's.

I texted Nic, Ayin, Jear and Geni already. Maybe I could catch it with them and we could all crash on Gen's condo... Can you hear the hint of desperation? Gah! I feel like Alain de Botton's pathetic nameless narrator.

On a heavier note (lighter is inappropriate), mama and I had a slight disagreement a little earlier. I was telling her that I am starting a new collection of stories. Subversions of fairy tales, I said, sort of a retelling. Darker versions, violent, I said. "What a religious girl!" her exact words! And it hit me that this has always been my constraints - my religion and my family. The biggest wall between a writer and what he/she wants to write about. I could slip in 'society' but nothing's too shocking the world can't take it nowadays. She told me you don't only write to entertain or to vent out your emotions or any other self-satisfying reasons, when you write you are responsible for how it will affect your readers.

She has a point, but the realization that perhaps there is no such thing as freedom of speech because we are responsible for what we write and how it is read scared and saddened me.

Was JD Salinger responsible for John Lennon's death, then, same way Rizal was responsible for the retaliation of the Filipino people against the Spaniards?

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